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ESTILO DE VIDA- La visión del éxito es todo un fracaso - URUGUAY

 

Lo mejor para el niño no es hacerlo competir por la perfección sino darle apoyo para ser creativo y saber enfrentar los problemas.

 

 

La visión actual que tenemos sobre el éxito es un fracaso. Así de tajante es Madeline Levine, doctora y psicóloga con más de 30 años de experiencia clínica en orientación y educación, cuando se refiere al concepto de éxito que los padres manejan en relación con sus hijos.

Para Levine, la idea común de éxito ha llevado a los niños y adolescentes a estar estresados, ansiosos, deprimidos y agotados, igual que sus padres. Esto, porque se cree que un alto rendimiento académico, que los hijos accedan a las mejores universidades y que logren trofeos deportivos, son sinónimo de triunfo total.

"Es una creencia profundamente arraigada en la sociedad. Hay un grupo de personas que fomentan el perfeccionismo, la competencia y el materialismo y con esa actitud efectivamente están creando una población de adolescentes talentosos, pero con problemas emocionales", dice Lavine. La educadora publicó recientemente el libro Teach your children well ("Enseñe bien a sus chicos"), que analiza la obsesión creciente de los padres por criar hijos que sean exitosos.

Aunque el éxito académico siempre será importante, se debería llamar "auténtico éxito" a que los hijos puedan tener tiempo y energía para comprometerse en el aprendizaje, desarrollar sus intereses y reforzar sus habilidades, dice Levine.

Mónica López, autora del sitio www.sanarte.cl y directora de la Sociedad Chilena de Psicología Clínica, asegura: "Un niño exitoso es el que puede valorar lo que tiene y puede lidiar con las frustraciones naturales de la vida sin amargarse por cada cosa que no le resulta".

"El trabajo de los adultos es respetar las habilidades únicas de cada uno de sus niños, ofrecer asesoramiento y perspectiva. Una infancia saludable es la base para convertirse en un adulto sano. Ningún niño puede darse el lujo de omitir la infancia", dice la psicóloga norteamericana.

El auténtico éxito de los niños y adolescentes es una motivación interna que proviene de ellos mismos, pero también necesitan estímulos externos. "No hemos podido modernizar el modelo de aprendizaje que tenemos y se ha convertido en una barrera para que los niños puedan desarrollar sus habilidades", opina Erika Castro, directora de Instituciones Familia Educa. La realización personal, agrega, es lo que hace feliz a los pequeños y eso les permite desarrollar sus valores y sus habilidades humanas y sociales.

Según el libro, las habilidades que son importantes para el "éxito auténtico" son la creatividad, el pensamiento innovador, la flexibilidad, la capacidad de recuperación como respuesta al fracaso, las habilidades comunicativas y la capacidad de colaborar.

Los padres son el principal motor del desarrollo de sus hijos. Para lograr que ellos alcancen el éxito auténtico, hay que dejar de lado la "sobreparentalidad", la sobreprotección. Para Levine es necesario "cambiar el foco protector y exigente por uno que sea una guía, que le permita al niño sentirse apoyado, amado incondicionalmente, que le permita ser curioso y desafiar su propia capacidad para que cree este conjunto de habilidades". (El Mercurio / GDA)

 

LIFESTYLE - MOTHER AND BABY - EGYPT

Emotional connection between mother and newborn: A guide to walking the right path

The first interactions of the mother with her newborn marks the foundation of the emotional connections between both and affects the baby profoundly, Ahram Online talks with an expert who sheds light on some of the right steps

The emotional connection between mother and child unfolds gradually, it might take longer with some, manifest itself in different forms with others, but it remains a blissful heavenly feeling for most. Talking about cultivating the social abilities and the psychological stability of a newborn might raise some eyebrows, but experts say that deeply rooted emotional aspects of person start from the earliest moments after birth.

"Your baby develops rapidly not only physically but also emotionally, and every step of the way is highly dependent on what you do as a mother. We stress that studies prove that happiness and security depend on two main pillars which are expressing love and interacting playfully with the child," says Dr Heba Essawy, professor of psychiatry , Ain Shams University. She stresses that the every mother should marvel at the experience of developing the emotional connection between herself and her newborn, a connection that goes a step further with every interaction that takes place and that goes both ways from the mother towards the baby and vice versa .

Dr Essawy gives what she describes as the three golden rules that would initiate and then maintain the spark of instant emotional connection between a mother and her baby:

The first moment after the birth, the mother should embrace her baby and breastfeed her, hold her near her heart as the familiar sound of the beats plays a significant role soothing the baby.

Starting from the very early days of the baby's life, the mother should always talk to the child, even sing to her, and maintain eye contact, as this would help develop a bond between both of them and reinforce the first social capabilities.

The baby starts to smile within the first weeks as a sign of her feeling a sort of comfort and inner security. This is enhanced by security, so the mother should never let go of the baby quickly, not switch on bright lights suddenly, or expose her to high pitches of music or noise. Each shudder or startle, even if not obvious to the eye, can affect her on the long run.

Dr. Nadia El Bardeesi supervises antenatal classes offered at a number of medical centers. She criticises the older generations' misconception regarding the emotions and needs of a baby. "Our parents limited the needs of the baby to just needing a remedy because of being colic or a feeding because of being hungry or wanting to change a diaper, and things of that sort. They did not think of the little being developing emotions from the very first days of his life," says El Bardeesi .

She assures new generations of mothers that a baby is capable of emotionally bonding with and feeling her mother's interactions , stressing that early signs of emitting a smile at around five weeks or responding by physical reflexes are a major sign. She agrees with the recommendation of instant breast feeding that boosts oxytocins in the mother thus bonding her with the child emotionally, and stresses the importance of facial expressions and sounds by the mother. Finally she adds that research has proved that in addition to the effect of soothing aroma of the mother and her milk, a child is also soothed and comforted by other scents like vanilla, lavender, and baby products.

HEALTH - UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

Fight against child obesity continues in the UAE

Nearly one third of children are obese or overweight, and junk food is to blame

• Dr Liza M Thomas of the Canadian Specialist Hospital with schoolchildren from across Dubai, during an antiobesity presentation.

Dubai: Childhood obesity has reached epidemic proportions in the UAE with an increased risk of Type 2 diabetes and a host of obesity-related medical conditions.
                         
With nearly a third of children either obese or overweight, government and local hospitals are shoring up efforts to tackle the obesity rate.
                                     
The latest anti-obesity campaign titled ‘Act Now’ was launched Monday by the Canadian Specialist Hospital (CSH).
                         
Aimed at kids, the ongoing campaign discusses prevention, causes, health risks and solutions.

Article continues below

Health authorities, medical professionals, and parents are concerned.
This week, the UAE was listed seventh on the Global Fat Scale among 177 countries, calculated using UN data on population size and estimates of global weight from the World Health Organisation (WHO).

 

Last year’s figures from a nationwide survey of Emirati and expatriate schoolchildren by the Ministry of Health (MoH) stated that 15.5 per cent are obese, 39.2 per cent are overweight and a worrying 21 per cent had fast food three times or more a day.
                         
“The rate hasn’t lowered. There are more than 30 per cent of UAE kids are who obese,” said Dr Liza Thomas, Specialist Internal Medicine, CSH, speaking to Gulf News.
                         
“The statistics are alarming,” said Dr Ali Reza Eghtedari, Consultant Surgeon and Head of Laparoscopic and Obesity Speciality Clinic at CHS.
                         
He told Gulf News that obese children, some as young as eight years old, are being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
                         
“The harmful effects of obesity among children are evident early on. These can range from diabetes, hypertension and cholesterol.
                         
“I know of young obese patients who have both diabetes and hypertension — fatal for the kidney. If obesity rates aren’t checked, these children will grown up to be unhealthy adults with several medical complications,” he said.
                         
The leading cause of obesity is the availability of junk food and lack of parental involvement in making health a priority, said Dr Thomas.
                         
She explained that parents find it more convenient to visit a fast food outlet then to prepare a healthy meal at home.
                         
She highlighted the role of parents in preventing obesity. She said parents should be role models first. “When children watch their parents eat healthy, they will also emulate them. The learning starts at home and progresses at school and community levels.”
                         
Gulf News also spoke to parents and children to learn of their attitudes towards their health.
Jenny Akiki, mother of Adriana, 10, and two-month-old Eva said being a good role model is the only way to convince your kid to adopt the same lifestyle.
                         
“If my kids see me eating burgers and fries, they will surely not want the broccoli and carrots I give them.”
                         
Akiki prepares Adriana’s meals, including her school lunch box. “I am not convinced of how healthy the school canteen food is so I prefer to cook her meals. Junk food is allowed only on rare occasions.”
Parul Soparkar, grandfather of Aanya, four, said that health is a top priority at the household, and that corrective eating behaviours have to start young. “Aanya is a fussy eater, but has to learn to eat all the food that is good for her.”
                         
Jack Simpson, 12, and Megan Valk, 14, are both students at Dubai English Speaking School (DESS). While they lead active lives, a few of their peers need to change their current lifestyle.
                         
Simpson said, “I have a friend who eats two to three donuts at a time, and enjoys food from fast food outlets. He is trying to lose weight now after realising that he cannot run as fast.”
                         
Valk said, “I have a few friends who do not participate in activities outside of PE [physical education], but they are conscious about their weight. To lose weight, they tend to skip their meals at school knowing that they wouldn’t be allowed to do the same at home.”

HEALTH - UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

Unusually large polyp removed from child in Dubai

Six-centimetre growth was the largest ever seen in a child, says Dubai-based doctor

• Image Credit: Oliver Clarke/ Gulf News
• Camille and her mother Chunhui Yu Bangerter. Camille recently underwent colonoscopy to remove a tumour.

Dubai: “We couldn’t believe it,” said the mother of a toddler after a Dubai-based doctor successfully removed a very large polyp from her child’s insides without invasive surgery.
                         
“We had given up hope,” said Chunhui Yu Bangerter, who had consulted more than six doctors after her daughter started passing blood in her stools. Every one of them suggested that the child be operated on to remove the growth.
                                     
The child, Camille, 2 1/2 years old, was diagnosed with a colonic polyp, a growth in the large intestine.
                         
“I looked at the video of the colonoscopy and decided that it can be removed using the colonoscope,” Dr Tareq Saleh, consultant gastroenterologist, told Gulf News.

“I was thinking that the growth is about 3cms,” he said. But when he worked with the colonoscope inside the child, he found the growth was much larger, 6cms in diameter. “I have never seen such a large polyp before,” he said.
                         
A colonoscope is a long, flexible tube with a fibreoptic camera at the end and inserted inside through the colon. It makes it easier for a doctor to visualise the whole 3 to 5 foot long intestine. A snare is also attached to the end to remove growths. “You can attach small instruments to snare, cut, coagulate,” said Dr Saleh.  
                
The 6-cm polyp was big even for the colonoscope snare used for adults, he said. The doctor then had to painstakingly cut the polyp into three pieces and snare and pull each piece out. “It took an hour,” he said. Usually such a procedure takes 10 minutes for smaller growths.
                         
The child was able to go home the same day. “She’s back to a normal life,” he said. A regular surgery would have meant that the child would have to spend a week at the hospital for recovery.
                         
The mother said she was overjoyed when the doctor came out and said, “She’s fine. We are done. We were planning to go home to our country,” she said, when doctors suggested an operation.
                         
The doctor said this growth, known as juvenile polyp, occurs in children between the ages of two and seven. “It is usually not cancerous, but has to be removed to stop bleeding. We do not know why it occurs. But the good thing is that once it is removed it will not grow again.”

CHILD / HOPE - CHINA

'Lost' generation given hope

Updated: 2012-06-28 07:58

By Yang Wanli (China Daily)

Shelters offer care to those living rough on the streets, Yang Wanli reports in Beijing.

Xiaoya (left) plays the recorder along with fellow students at the Beijing Juvenile Rescue and Protection Center. The 12-year-old, who has malformed legs, was abandoned by her grandmother at an early age. Photos by Zhang Wei / China Daily

Wang Ming has visited three provinces in China since the beginning of 2011. That's not bad going for a 12-year-old. Without a guidebook or a change of clothes, the boy took nothing but 200 to 300 yuan ($31 to $47) for each trip. Sharing a passion for globetrotting with his hero Bear Grylls in the TV program Man vs Wild, he has attempted to realize his dreams by becoming a runaway.
At a juvenile center in Beijing, Wang is among 40 children brought in off the streets. Some ran away from home, others were abandoned. Since it opened in 2003, the center has helped more than 5,000 "lost" children.
It's difficult to gauge how many children are living rough on China's streets, but on June 1 the Ministry of Civil Affairs revealed that more than 10,000 juveniles nationwide had been rescued or were being given shelter and protection in government-run centers from January to April this year.
A 2007 survey conducted in nine cities, including Beijing, Hangzhou and Shanghai, by the National Working Committee on Children and Women under the State Council, estimated the number to be between 1 million and 1.5 million.
Situated close to Beijing's East 5th Ring Road, the pink roofs of the center's six bungalows are bright and vivid in a sea of gray or white buildings. Youngsters aged 3 to 18 - mostly from rural areas in provinces such as Hebei, Henan, and Sichuan and the Ningxia Hui autonomous region - make up the bulk of the inhabitants.
"The children sent here are those who can't remember where they're from or who haven't contacted their relatives for many years," said Xu Dong, director of the center, who explained that domestic abuse, difficult relations with parents or a cripplingly low standard of living are the reasons usually cited when the children are asked why they ran away.
Wang's story is slightly different. His parents are divorced and Wang and his older sister have been living with their father in a village in Jiangsu province in East China. Wang's father works in construction and rarely has time to devote to his children or their education. Wang found himself at a loose end. "I don't like school or the village. They're so boring," he said, his dark eyes twinkling mischievously.
Xu said that many of the children give false names and lie about their backgrounds when they are first admitted to the center to avoid being sent home, but they usually end up admitting the truth once they learn to trust the staff. That was the case with Wang, who was persuaded to reveal his real address and contact details for his father. "I don't want to stay here, even though it's nice to have clean clothes and sleep in a comfortable bed," he said.
He ran away from home earlier this month and sneaked onto a Beijing-bound train. This latest escapade followed two previous attempts to break free when he traveled to the provinces of Guangdong and Yunnan "to see those beautiful sites", he admitted, as he described the bridges and mountains he'd seen. With little money in his pocket, he ate food provided by locals until the police sent him to the juvenile center.
According to Xu, this type of "free traveling" is quite normal for runaway kids. They can easily avoid detection and the ticket checks on trains, although Wang occasionally bought a ticket using an ID card he found in the street and the money he had "borrowed" from home.

Street child Wang Ming (right) has dinner at a juvenile center in Beijing. Zhang Wei / China Daily

Wanderlust
The mini-adventurer is driven by wanderlust. "I saw people traveling to famous places on TV, and I wanted to be just like them," he said. In the early days of his trip to Beijing, his love of TV prompted him to visit the Military Museum of the Chinese People's Revolution. "I knew the museum from a TV program. It's a place I dreamed about," he said.
Like Wang, who is moving from childhood to a sense of self engendered by adolescence and beginning to pursue his own choices, most of the children at the center are 11 to 16 years old but few have close connections with their immediate family.
However, their lifestyles have provided them with strong survival skills. Roaming the bar areas of the North 2nd Ring Road, Wang spent most of his days in electronic games arcades, picking up dropped coins to feed the machines, and slept on park benches at night. A number of residents provided food, including an African man who piqued the boy's curiosity. "I took a bus to the international airport and asked the service people how I could get to Africa. I even showed them the ID card," he said. "But, they refused to let me travel, saying that I could only go there with my parents."
After a few days on the streets of the capital, the police sent Wang to the rescue center. Once the boy revealed his real address, Xu contacted Wang's father, who refused to take his son back, reasoning that he will almost definitely run away again. "If the local government in his hometown can't send someone to collect him, we will have to send him back alone," said Xu.
Basic education is provided for long-term residents and the center is supplied with books covering the entire nine-year school curriculum. Although there are only about 40 students in the class, far fewer than in ordinary primary schools, teaching is not an easy task. Every 60-minute lesson is split into three, 20 minutes allocated for each group, with students taught according to their ability and previous educational background.
"Teaching those students really takes a great deal of patience and advanced skills," said Feng Guixia, a 59-year-old who teaches Chinese and mathematics. She has been working at the center, earning 1,500 yuan ($236) a month, since retiring from her job as a teacher at a nearby school five years ago.

Li Shengli, who arrived at the center in 2005, makes his bed. Born with just vestigial digits and not fully formed fingers, the 15-year-old was abandoned on a train by his parents.

Just like a family
"The bonds that connect the kids are very touching," she said. "Unlike a lot of children nowadays, the kids here always share what they have, whether it's delicious food, new toys or other things. The youngest child is always treated well, just like in a family," she said.
Roughly 90 percent of the children sent to the center are eventually reunited with their families, but the others, those that have been abandoned, are destined to live there until they are 18. Li Shengli, 15, who arrived at the center in 2005, was abandoned on a train. "I was traveling with my parents and fell asleep. When I woke up, they had gone," he said, avoiding eye contact and rubbing his left hand on his clothes. His hand looks unusual because he was born with just vestigial digits and not fully formed fingers. He doesn't know if that is the reason he was abandoned.
Li said he can't remember anything about his birthplace and little about his family, but he knows that he has an older sister and a brother. When asked if he wanted to find his family, he looked down at the floor and shook his head.
He perked up momentarily only when he spoke of the things he's seen and done. "I love the Great Wall. It's so long and so beautiful. We climbed for hours until our legs were tired and we could hardly take another step. We went to the highest part and saw the lovely scenery, colorful trees, blue sky and birds," Li smiled. "I know where Beijing is. It's on the neck of the cockerel (to many people, the depiction of China on the map makes the country look like a crowing cockerel)."
But his interest evaporated when he spoke of life outside the center, a life with which he's unfamiliar and a frightening prospect: "I dare not explore the outside world. If I leave here, I will just be homeless again," he said.
Contact the reporter at yangwanli@chinadaily.com.cn
Tang Yue and Wu Wencong contributed to this story.

LIFESTYLE / MALAISYA

Many babysitters love their charges like their own

Do not let the bad cases eclipse the contributions of many childminders who love their charges like their own children.
LOOKING for a good babysitter is a tough and stressful process. I know; I have been through it twice.
I called up a total of 10 babysitters for my second child, meeting up with six of them, before my husband and I agreed on our current babysitter, with whom we felt comfortable.
Logistics aside, many factors come into play in parents’ decisions on childcare. Among them, the number of children under the sitter’s charge, the general cleanliness of their home, and more importantly, whether they show a natural fondness for children.

Close bond: Rukumani Appoo with Sameera Praveen and her elder sister Sahana (right) at her home in Puchong, Selangor. The babysitter has been looking after the kids since they were babies. — YAP CHEE HONG/The Star

With more double-income families these days, the demand for quality childcare services has definitely increased.
Home-based childminders, commonly known as babysitters, are a popular alternative for parents who may not trust a domestic helper to care for their infant while they are at work, or who prefer not to use a daycare service due to the high child-adult ratio.
Granted, these babysitters mainly make sure the physical needs of the kids are met – like feeding, bathing and changing them or keeping them entertained (more often than not, by plonking the kids in front of the television). Creative play and mental stimulation are not always part of the deal.
Babysitters came under the spotlight recently following the death of a four-month-old baby in Batu Pahat, Johor. Her babysitter, Tan Siew Bee, 42, was charged on June 13 with the baby’s murder. Police had confirmed that the childminder had had two previous reports of child abuse and sudden death in 2010 and early this year.
In October 2010, five-month-old Muhammad Firdaus Hakim Faizal Hafiz died after he was believed to have fallen while under the care of a babysitter in Putrajaya.
Though there are cases, both reported and unreported, of abuse by babysitters, the fact is countless working parents in Malaysia are heavily dependent on their services. Parents continue to engage them to care for their progeny, usually going on to forge a close relationship with them. Some of them even end up like family.
Sandra Sin’s current babysitter was recommended by a former colleague, whose own child was previously under her care. Sin started sending her daughter, Thea, to the babysitter in Section 17, Petaling Jaya, Selangor, when the child was seven weeks old. Now, Sin still sends her only child, who’s turning two soon, to the same babysitter.
But her search for a dependable childcare provider did not go smoothly from the beginning.
“Before this, I had asked around for babysitters and also tried scouring online, but to no avail,” recounted the 33-year-old graphic designer.
Her initial quest was unsuccessful due to various reasons, including high fees, extra charges for late pick-up or babysitters who had their hands full. In addition, she found out that there were agents acting for babysitters who charged a commission upon successful referrals.
“My husband and I did not wish to send our daughter to a daycare centre as these facilities usually have high enrolment, and we preferred more personal attention for our baby,” says Sin.
Then, to her relief, she was referred to her present babysitter.
“I am so glad to have found her. I have peace of mind at work as she is very responsible. Her capabilities and childcare methods have been proven in these two years that my daughter has been with her,” Sin adds.
A childminder with over 20 years’ experience, the 57-year-old babysitter, who requested not to be named, has a genuine love and warmth for children.
Among her many former charges, some remain in close contact and send her photos of themselves.
Currently, there are eight children of different ages who she tends to with the assistance of a domestic helper at her single-storey bungalow.
“Her home environment is conducive to having kids around and it’s clean. The children are also disciplined, not messy and do not run around (wildly),” says Sin.
The icing on the cake is that the lady supports breastfeeding mothers and prepares healthy meals using ingredients like organic beef and vegetables.
More remarkably, and unlike many such informal home-based services, there are fun activities for the kids like art, baking and cooking sessions. The babysitter also plays games with the children and teaches them dancing even! Whenever there is a birthday, she will throw a party for the kids at no extra cost.
Such excellent services are not easy to come by, but they do exist.
When Yogeshwary Ambalaghan, 37, was seeking a babysitter for her first-born, Sahana Praveen, she was adamant not to leave the baby with a stranger.
“I was apprehensive about sending my daughter to someone I did not know. It didn’t help that we kept hearing stories of abuse by babysitters. I finally settled on chechi (“elder sister” in Malayalam) as my babysitter because she is a good friend’s sister,” recalls the mother-of-two. (Sahana is now four, and Sameera is two.)
The chechi in question is Rukumani Appoo, a humble lady who did not even stipulate a monthly fee when she was approached, leaving it to Yogeshwary, a journalist in Petaling Jaya, to decide on the amount.
Today, the babysitter, who has been taking care of her daughters since they were babies, is very much like family to Yogeshwary.
“From day one I was assured that she’d take excellent care of my girls. She truly loves them and dotes on them. So do her three sons. My girls adore her too, so much so that sometimes they do not want to go home!”
Rukumani, who babysits only the two sisters now, is also very understanding towards their working parents.
“Even when she feels unwell, she will not tell me because she doesn’t want to trouble me to take leave. And she doesn’t mind at all that the girls sometimes stay late at her place,” shares Yogeshwary.
Rukumani, 49, started babysitting about seven years ago. At that time, the housewife’s three boys, now aged between 19 and 22, were already in their teens.
“The kids were all grown up and I had time on my hands. I love children and enjoy taking care of them, so I decided to babysit,” relates Rukumani from her home in Puchong, Selangor.
She also reads with Sahana and Sameera, joins them in their play and sings to them.
“I love them like my own children,” says Rukumani with a warm smile. “These two girls are very sweet, obedient and well-behaved, even when they were babies.”
For 26 years, a babysitter in one of the suburbs of Petaling Jaya, who only wants to be known as Madam Lim, has been running a home childminding service. Over the years, more than 30 children have come and gone under her care.
At present, Lim, 60, is looking after her grandson, aged one-and-a-half, as well as a seven-month-old baby girl and a boy aged seven who comes in the morning before he goes for afternoon school.
“The best part about the work is that time passes really fast. However, the burden of responsibility is heavy and I have to be very careful because these are other people’s precious kids, after all,” says Lim, a widow with a son and a daughter aged 30 and 29, respectively.
Lim gets up at 4.30am daily to do her household chores and to cook before the children start arriving from 8am. She also warms up breast milk for the baby girl during the day.
A one-time nurse at Assunta Hospital in Petaling Jaya, Lim worked in sales before quitting shortly after she got married. Then she decided to go into babysitting. The first child she took in was the baby of an ex-colleague. At that time, her son was four.
Since then, there have been many other kids, some of whom she grew very attached to and who still keep in touch regularly.
“There was this boy with me for 11 years before he left my care. When he told me he was leaving, we just looked at each other and cried! He was with me day and night (during weekdays) for many years. I was really, really sad when he left,” shares Lim, looking momentarily pensive.
The veteran childminder does not take on many kids at one time.
“Children need a lot of care and attention, especially the younger ones,” she says.
No matter how much society is modernising, there’s no denying the usefulness and importance of the services offered by these homely, down-to-earth childcare providers.

SOCIAL / LIFSTYLE - THAILAND

THIS IS LIFE

Balancing act

Having her first child was the catalyst for Nontakarn Dapparungsi quitting her job and making a bold career move

Concerned about her work-life balance, Nontakarn Dapparungsi quit her position at a big petrol company in which she was thriving, and started a new chapter of her life.

Nontakarn Dapparungsi

She set up her own businesses and now manages two branches of child development centre Gymboree, and is responsible for bringing the bath and bedding brand Aussino to Bangkok.

The enterprises did not just fall into her lap _ they have been carefully built with her own efforts. The mother of two says that children are inspiring and every day is a fresh opportunity.

Tell us about the work you were doing before you started your businesses.

I worked in strategic planning at a multinational petrol company (Shell). When I was in my thirties, everything was perfect _ a good boss, good colleagues and overseas travel gave me a chance to see the world. I enjoyed working, but after I had my first kid, I struggled to find balance. I then looked for flexibility _ a way to have my own time where my work wasn't based on the fixed time of the organisation. Importantly, my new work [needed to] have a result, because I couldn't afford trial and error.

What was the factor that made you decide to quit your job?

It was the year 2000, I was concerned with my work-life balance. The issue of "quality time" mattered a lot to me. I searched on the internet, and there were many suggestions _ work at home or work three to five hours a day _ but the concept was not available in Thailand. Then I quit and decided to do something to improve my "quality time".

Why did you decide to set up the child development business?

Having my first son made me think about what I should do. I looked for something that would improve the quality of life for my child, and likewise for the parents who have children aged up to two years. Parents want to have activities for their children, and they avoid taking their kids to just hang around at department stores. I did some research and found Gymboree to be my solution to a work-life balance. I contacted them and became a franchisee, and today I run two branches.

The activities are for small kids, but everything feels new for me, and it's fun. It's like I'm studying for another bachelor's degree outside the university.

How did you expand into the bedding business?

Families in Thailand have an average of two to three children. What about bedding for the children? It's also part of my journey. My kids were growing up, and I had to change them from a baby cot to a bed. Aussino was very successful in Southeast Asia, but it had no business in Thailand. When I first saw Aussino in Malaysia, I thought that the owner [may have] studied the Gymboree concept, because they share a similar philosophy about child development.

Pictures on the bedsheets show cooking, gardening, princesses, trains, ships, and a variety of occupations such as doctors and firefighters, because children like to imitate the behaviour of adults or the people they admire. I thought this was the right answer, and since the brand was not available in Thailand, it could be a business opportunity.

You like to promote Thai talents...

There are lots of quality products in Thailand. There are new designers every day, in fashion and textile circles. When I travelled abroad I found many good quality products, mostly designed in Thailand. I also have visited many events, but had no chance to work with Thai producers, because their products are totally for export. Finally I have discussed and worked with some brands whose furniture products cater for overseas markets, and soon we will try to sell to the local market. We are now studying product positioning.

Is your education related to the "living" business?

Not at all. I studied science and chemistry, that's why I used to work for Shell.

I use "rational assumption" _ what is the cause and the result? _ and I also look for figures and components to make decisions. From my experience at Shell, though they recruit scientists, everyone must do marketing planning. That's how I learned for over a decade working there. And now, when I find something I want, I can figure out if a product has a chance in the market based on observing consumer behaviour, taste and requirements.

What do you see for the future?

As long as we live at home, there's still renovation and maintenance. Living should evolve. The DIY trend will develop and everyone will become more specialised _ carpenters or plumbers, for example. People are likely to be selective [in who they choose to work on their home].

For us, we have to maintain brand positioning to keep its uniqueness. The market is getting more sophisticated _ customers look for identity and are more selective in lifestyle living by choosing products themselves.

Has your work-life ratio become more balanced?

Yes. The children are growing up and have time on their own _ studying, hanging around with friends. Now I'm going to step into the next chapter. Things change every 10 years, so I'm looking for a new feature in the field of health.

What is your style of parenting?

Teach them discipline. If they break the rules, there may be some punishment [such as] banning them from what they like to do for a certain period. I don't believe in hitting as punishment.

What is a formula of life and work that you believe in?

Every day is a new opportunity. We live and learn and when we find something we like, [we should] do it. Importantly, don't let yourself be discouraged. I am always looking for a "surprise". Both Gymboree and Aussino are surprises, but they did not come to me _ I had to look for them.

LIFESTYLE - MALAYSIA

Watching the kids grow up

Koh Kim Lye with his wife Sally and their brood: (From second left) Tilly, Timorthy, Mimi and Darren celebrating Timorthy’s birthday on April 9 last year.

FATHERS FIGURE
By KOH KIM LYE

It was love at first sight up on Genting Highlands, where I met this wonderful woman. Soon, we became a loving couple. After about three years together, we were very sure that we were meant for each other. So we decided to have a grand wedding and settle down. Then, the wonderful woman became Mrs Koh.

Two years after that, she got pregnant and later gave birth to a cute baby girl. Three more kids followed. By then she had quit her job to become a housewife. While she took care of the household chores and cooked for the family, I acted as a good friend to my colleagues, a loyal husband to my wife, and a responsible father to my children.

Occasionally when I came home during the wee hours of the morning, the sight of the kids peacefully asleep would take away all my tiredness. It is a feeling only a parent will understand.

No matter how busy I was, I would make time for the family, especially on Sundays when there were no school activities and we would go to church. I always made sure, too, to keep track of my children’s studies. Watching them do well in their studies or representing their school in public speaking made all the hard work worth it. Somehow, though, they did not really open up much to me, while they would tell everything to their mum. So, I usually had to seek further information from my wife.

Not to brag but my children matured earlier than others their age. They knew their limits and always thought twice before spending any money. They certainly knew I worked hard for the money.

From their primary school days, my wife always sent food to the kids when they had to stay back in school.

Unlike many children who were not keen to have food from home, my kids never complained. I was very proud of them. Who cares how other people judge you, right? They continued with the habit of bringing food from home, such as cookies and bread, even as teenagers.

I am now retired and enjoying a relaxing life, though not living in clover, that’s for sure. I spend my time ferrying my youngest about, to school and to tuition. I take pride in watching him excel in his exams and I keep encouraging him in many ways.

My eldest child, a girl, is now a very proud nurse at a hospital. My second daughter is still in university. My third and fourth, both boys, are in school. The elder one has just got his SPM results while his brother is struggling in Form Four (“It’s no honeymoon,” he says).

Me? I continue to be a supportive father to the four of them. Life has been one awesome ride for me – I live, I married, and I have childen of my own. As a dad, it’s been a great pleasure seeing my children all grown up and doing well in their lives. I will always be there for them and help them with the problems they may encounter. May they one day be great parents to their own children.

Remember, Papa loves you all and always will.

Star2's Fathers Figure invites fathers of any age and every stripe – rich dad, poor dad, single father, fun dad, tiger dad – to talk about their parenting experiences. Email your stories to star2@thestar.com.my with the subject header ‘Fathers Figure,’ preferably between 600 and 800 words, with a photo attached. Published contributions will be paid. So please include your full name, IC number, address and contact number.

SOCIETY - SWEDEN

 

Celebrities who support the Aftonbladet's campaign

 

Become a monthly donor, or give a gift to the UNHCR here 

 

 External link.

Gives hourly earnings for Syrian children: "everyone should be with"

Zara Larsson, 15, singer and winner of the "Talent" in 2008, Stockholm, Sweden:
Since I myself am a child so I think it is particularly awful to think that do not have a home to return to. War in General is terrible, but the kids have done nothing. It is difficult, what can you do? We can not just stroll in and say stop and evidence, it will not listen to. It is of course good to help with money for wars, but right now it is only short-term. There is a need for more.

Inger Nilsson, 53, actress, Stockholm:
It is appalling that people have to flee. I think I have read somewhere that a third of the world's population is on the run, if it is true, it is not acceptable. Precisely these children in Syria are fleeing because of wars, so I think it is important that we help. It is thanks to the help that they can survive at all. I wish we could get to it so that we can resolve the conflict.

David Hellenius, 38, presenters, Stockholm:
– I give absolutely an hour, two to, and I am very involved in Unicef, so of course there is always with. when children hit it takes at most, and I think also that it is to those who help should go first.

Amy Diamond, 20, Jönköping:
– It is always terrible of wars, but in the particular case of children, it is even worse. They are, of course, with so much, despite the fact that they are so very young. It's nice that there is help that can be sent to the children, and it is great that there are people who work in such situations.

Ulf Brunnberg, 65, actor, Stockholm:
— Of course, I am that is always the children who fall in between, and they are always innocent. It is important to help if we can. It is also important that there is critical when one gives, so that we know that aid reaches its destination.

Gunilla Carlsson (M), 49, minister for development cooperation, Stockholm:
I am so happy that Aftonbladet chooses to bet on this campaign again. I have just been in Geneva and held talks on the crisis and the importance of Syria that we need help. I will travel to the region and meet with refugees. The need for a political solution to build on peace and understanding, a long-term preparedness in order to obtain the peaceful democratic. It is precisely the children who will be the first and foremost victims, they are absolutely innocent and often vulnerable in urban environments. Many are injured and dies, and many may see their families. The loss of his childhood.

Kjell "Alexander" Wallmark, 30, artist, Boden:
It is no secret that what is happening in Syria is 26. We can help with small means, only it wants to. Of course, I am with and gives an hourly wage.

Pernilla Wiberg, 41, skier, Principality of Monaco:
– Whatever terms, Syria or a small village, where people shoot around it is terrible and just as terrible every time. I believe that many want to support, but the important thing is that we know that aid reaches the right person. This is probably where the shoe pinches for many.

Sonja Aldén, 34, singer, Stockholm:
– I like the idea to be with and support and I really want to do my part. it goes without saying that it is terrible what is happening in Syria. It is the worst thing that could happen.

Amelia Adamo, 65, editor-in-Chief, Stockholm:
– Absolutely gives me an hourly wage. What about Syria are some strange hopelessness. It just lasts and lasts. In other cases, tend to be better, but now it seems nothing happen. It feels unbelievably frustrating. People just die and die, and as usual, the victims of these appalling civili fighting. What we can do is to form the opinion that Aftonbladet has done and show our support.

Peter Siepen, 49, presenters, Stockholm:
– No odd features, I am with and provides an hourly wage. I usually set up for relief organizations in different contexts. War of any kind is sickening, and worst of all affected children.

Gellert Tamas, journalist and writer, 49, Stockholm:
-What is happening in Syria is incredibly depressing to see how it goes on day after day. Now, it may suffice. As in all conflicts it is the civilians who suffer. We need the help from several quarters. What we can do is help to heal the wounds, but the main thing is that there needs to be a democratic solution over time.

Helena Bergström Nutley, 38, actress, Stockholm:
Yes definitely, I want to join in and donate. It is terrible what is happening in Syria. From time to time are pure despair. The world must react strongly to make change. And it must be a really decent change.

Borje Salming, 61, hockeylegendar, Stockholm:
It is so terribly horrible and it has been so long. Nothing happens. And the thing is that finally bothers to not read about it anymore, it feels like it doesn't matter, they will still continue. I do not know what is wrong with the people. We have very well in Sweden and I don't think we understand really. It is clear that we want to set up.

Maria Wetterstrand (MP), 38, Stockholm:
It is appalling that this type of tyrants has to sit in power. And then when people try to make their voices heard so they shot. What is happening in Syria is probably the worst that we have seen.

Tobias Blom, 36, children's program leaders and the magician, Texarkana:
— Of course, I am with, this is a fantastic initiative. It is obvious that it is terrible that the outside world does not react stronger.

Titti Schultz, 39, Muslims, Stockholm:
It is so crazy it's going there. I can't for my life understand why it has not been able to go so far. It seems that it is not possible to discuss matters. Can I do anything to help, it is clear that I do it.

Martin Timell, 54, presenters, Stockholm:
– Yes, of course, it helps me to. It is sickening that we have not gone on with medium before.

Isabella Löwengrip, 21, bloggerska and entrepreneur, Stockholm:
– It is terrible what is happening there. We are able to help may do so as much as possible. Absolutely, I am with and gives an hourly wage.

Carin da Silva, 27, dancers, Stockholm:
– Absolutely, I want to help. It is a very good thing.

Gabriel Odenhammar, 28, actor and air traffic controllers, Norrköping:
I am guaranteed to be with and gives an hourly wage. Those of us who are a bit better off should help those who don't have it all to be with.

Nanne Grönvall, 49, singer, Stockholm:
Regardless, whatever applies to children and young people, so it is important to go into. In areas ravaged by war, it is extra important. All kinds of campaigns of this kind is good.

Gunde Svan, 50, skier and entertainer, Vansbro:
Yes, I am with and gives an hourly wage. We want to make up for such a thing.

Benny Andersson, 65, singer, Stockholm:
– Absolutely, of course, I am with and gives an hourly wage. What it is is happening there right now, so is it for 26.

SOCIEDAD / SALUD - ESPAÑA

Combatir el cáncer desde 'casa'

Júlia, con mascarilla, juega con una compañera en La Casa dels Xuclis. | J. Soteras

• Un ejemplar centro acoge a familias llegadas a Barcelona para tratar a sus hijos
• Júlia lleva siete meses recuperándose tras repuntar la leucemia que sufre

Hace dos semanas que recibió médula y pelea por integrarla. Tiene ocho años, por eso pugna mientras juega. Lo hace con mascarilla y su compañera, en pijama. Como en casa. Júlia salió de la suya hace siete meses y sólo ha podido volver cuatro días en todo este tiempo: los previos al trasplante. Una pequeña concesión en un maratoniano tratamiento que alumbra sus últimos compases. Esos cuatro días transcurrieron en Lleida, de donde procede y donde se trató hasta que el cáncer se tornó más robusto. El resto de tiempo se ha deslizado en su nuevo hogar, el de aquellos que buscan en Barcelona una oportunidad para sus hijos. Sea la primera, sea la última.
Rafael sabe que se encuentra en el segundo de esos escenarios. El primero quedó atrás, en 2009, cuando diagnosticaron a su hija una leucemia "tipo común de bajo riesgo". La quimioterapia parecía ser suficiente, pero al mes de la teórica remisión de la enfermedad llegó la recaída y con ella el "desequilibrio", el traslado, la sacudida. La niña fue derivada al Hospital Vall d’Hebron. "Nos encontramos con que, rápidamente, había que salir corriendo para aquí, nos desubicaron. Es una desestructuración total, tanto emocional como económica y esto junta el puzle". "Esto" tiene por nombre Casa dels Xuclis, es un centro de acogida para niños aquejados de cualquier tipo de cáncer y sus progenitores y, desde que abrió sus puertas en octubre, ha alojado a 58 familias desplazadas al hospital de referencia barcelonés.

"La niña no ha notado nada al margen de que sabe que tiene un bicho que es fuerte"

Conviene imaginar el complejo como una suerte de monasterio, sin crucifijo alguno, pues fue concebido como tal, como un lugar de recogimiento con su misma estructura, pero aconfesional. Con 25 apartamentos de 30 metros cuadrados dispuestos en torno a un claustro que, aquí, es patio infantil. Con zonas comunes como el comedor, la lavandería, el huerto o el jardín y espacios reservados para la reflexión, el desahogo o el rezo, como la llamada sala del silencio, donde se pueden tragar los trances más duros aislado del resto de familias. Un templo para la recuperación a dos manzanas del Vall d’Hebron.

La alternativa a dormir en el aparcamiento

Cuenta Rafael que Pep Pla, el presidente de Afanoc, la Associació de Familiars i Amics de Nens Oncològics de Catalunya que impulsó el proyecto, le admitió en una de sus múltiples conversaciones que decidió poner en marcha la casa cansado de ver cómo los padres dormían en el coche del aparcamiento del centro hospitalario mientras sus hijos permanecían ingresados para recibir quimioterapia. Y lo cierto es que la apertura de este espacio viene a cubrir una necesidad perentoria como muestran las cifras que dicen que la organización tuteló en 2010 el caso de 134 familias procedentes de fuera de Barcelona, llegadas la mayoría del resto de Cataluña (66 de Tarragona o 22 de Girona), pero también muchas del resto del Estado o del extranjero (cuatro de Andalucía, Canarias, Galicia o el País Vasco, pero también tres de Marruecos o una de Pakistán).
Es la valoración del equipo médico y la trabajadora social del hospital la que determina los ingresos en la casa. Las necesidades especiales de Júlia, que necesita un entorno específico, al no poder permanecer en lugares muy concurridos tras el trasplante, y la situación socioeconómica de su familia decantaron la decisión.
"Enseguida nos ampararon y estar aquí está influyendo de manera determinante en la recuperación de Júlia. La niña no ha notado nada al margen de que sabe que tiene un bicho que es fuerte. Pero sigue estando con sus padres, protegida", cuenta Rafael. Su mujer, Mari Àngels, no trabaja desde que la niña cayó enferma y él se encuentra de baja, es camionero y espera una operación para instalarle una placa en la columna. Por ello, que el alojamiento sea gratuito es fundamental. "Esto hubiera derivado en un gasto tremendísimo, imposible de asumir por una familia como la nuestra", admite el padre. La financiación procede en un 65% de subvenciones públicas y el restante de aportaciones altruistas privadas y campañas de recaudación realizadas por Afanoc, como la exitosa 'Ponte la gorra', que el 3 de junio celebra una nueva edición. Dice Rafael sentirse un "privilegiado" en una "burbuja ajena al desequilibrio económico y los recortes".

Los padres de Júlia, en su apartamento. | J. Soteras

La otra vertiente es la de la normalidad adquirida. "Es mi hogar transportado. Nuestro día a día es perfecto", cuenta Rafael mientras su esposa hace gala de esa cotidianidad abandonando la habitación para salir a la compra. "Tenemos nuestro hábitat privado, nuestro aseo personal, una mesa para comer, un trozo de jardín, una sala de juego adaptada para niños que no pueden ir al parque para evitar cualquier infección. Todo lo que necesitamos está traído aquí. Lo tienen todo cubierto, incluso el ocio con clases de yoga para las mujeres, un cinefórum, clases de pintura...", abunda.

Una atención para cada fase

También la atención psicológica, puesto que lo más trágico del hospital también se da en la casa. Ayuda la labor de Laia Jané. La coordinadora del área de apoyo emocional tiene base en el sótano desde donde acude si una familia la requiere. "Para nosotros es fundamental el ritmo que van marcando ellos. No nos avanzamos, porque no tiene sentido tratar incertidumbres o miedos antes de que aparezcan". Explica la psicóloga que acostumbran a toparse con diversas fases: "el gran impacto inicial del diagnóstico, en el que es necesario mucho acompañamiento"; "el desgaste y la ansiedad" que llegan con las nuevas pruebas o las idas y venidas al hospital, "el aún más duro golpe" de la recaída, que también va acompañado de "una reactivación más rápida por ya conocer a qué se enfrentan" y los paliativos o el duelo en caso de fallecimiento, cuando "estamos presentes, pero interfiriendo lo mínimo, con mucho respeto".

"Otros padres no han podido pelear. Nosotros sí. Y lo estamos haciendo en las mejores condiciones"

Y, a todo, se suma la dificultad añadida de estar fuera del domicilio habitual, aquí diluida por las "intensas relaciones" que nacen entre las familias. "Se estrechan lazos porque aquí todo el mundo tiene un gran problema", certifica Rafael. A ello contribuyen las asambleas mensuales organizadas por Laia en las que se empezó hablando de temas de convivencia y se ha acabado compartiendo pesares. "Son situaciones en las que lo positivo es muy positivo y lo negativo muy negativo. Un conflicto banal como que alguien no ha fregado los platos aquí se multiplica por la carga emocional, por eso aprovechamos para intentar mediar y que después expliquen cómo están", acalara la psicóloga.
Estas mismas asambleas van a comenzar a celebrarse entre los niños y conseguir "el objetivo es hacerles partícipes de lo que ocurre en la casa, preguntarles qué les gustaría que cambiase, que participen para que la sientan suya" y, por otra parte, inculcarles valores como el orden, el cuidado de su espacio. "Los que tendrían si estuviesen en la escuela", precisa Laia. El mejor síntoma de que la integración funciona son los habituales lloros de los niños que dejan la casa y que Rafael asegura contemplar a menudo. Después, llegan las preguntas de los que se quedan "¿Por qué se va? ¿Cuándo volverá? ¿Por qué yo me quedo?".
El padre de Júlia aún deberá responder alguna vez más. No se atreve a calcular cuándo podrá dejar de hacerlo. "Vamos analítica a analítica. Semana a semana. Antes hacía cálculos, pero ya no me atrevo". La evolución hasta ahora es perfecta, la compatibilidad de la médula es del 100% y la familia se encuentra instalada en un estado de espera que acabará con un todo o nada cuando se hayan cumplido 100 días del trasplante, con la prueba que determinará si la enfermedad ha remitido totalmente o hay una nueva recaída que, según Rafael, sería irreversible. "La quimioterapia tendría que ser entonces el doble de fuerte y estos niños ya no lo aguantan", dice con un tono neutro que sólo puede conceder el haber escuchado de boca de un médico "tu hijo tiene un 50% de posibilidades de sobrevivir", y continúa: "Otros padres no han tenido la oportunidad de pelear. Nosotros sí. Y lo estamos haciendo en las mejores condiciones". Fuera de la habitación en la que su padre se desfoga, ya entre lágrimas, recordando a pequeños que sucumbieron, Júlia sigue pugnando mientras juega.

PHILLIPINES - CHANGING WORLD

Responsible Fatherhood

Changing World

By DR. BERNARDO M. VILLEGAS

May 24, 2012, 6:35pm

MANILA, Philippines — Some of the most striking advertising messages I have seen in the entries to the annual Tambuli award given by the University of Asia and the Pacific to values-laden and effective marketing campaigns have to do with responsible fatherhood. Whether they have to do with fast food services, chocolate candies, insurance policies, or noodles, the marketing of products or services is increasingly being tied up with the need for the father of the family to increasingly spend time with his children and to devote both quantity and quality time to interacting with the entire family, especially during dinner.
In a recent trip to Indonesia, I noticed that the emphasis on the role of the father in the appropriate raising of children is becoming an Asian-wide, if not universal, phenomenon. In the March 25, 2012, issue of the Jakarta Globe, I read an article by Emmy Fitr entitled "Teaching Modern-Day Fathers to Raise Families." The article reported about an association founded by a child education specialist, Irwan Rinaldi, called Sahabat Ayah (Father's Best Friend). Mr. Rinaldi is advocating a change of mindset among Indonesian fathers who have traditionally assumed that they are excused from any child-rearing duties because they are the breadwinners. They have relegated the upbringing of children almost exclusively to their wives. Considering today's circumstances, in which more mothers have to juggle professional work with taking care of the home, there must be a change in the lifestyle among fathers. Mr. Rinaldi says it all: "Many fathers believe that it is enough to be physically present around their children. They don't realize how important their role is in shaping a child's character by getting involved... Every morning I see fathers drop their children at school, but they are busy checking their BlackBerrys. They don't even look into their children's eyes when parting, let along say something encouraging."
The situation may not be as extreme in the Philippines. Through parish-based organizations or private initiatives of parents themselves (as in the cases of EDUCHILD Foundation and the Parents for Education Foundation), there are more fathers getting involved in the day-to-day business of child rearing. Mothers are no longer being left alone to fend for themselves in the upbringing of children. Much more can be done, however, to promote the cause of father involvement, not only in child rearing but in household chores in general. It is good to be reminded by Indonesians, who are predominantly Muslim, about the very Catholic doctrine that marriage is for the procreation and education of children. Because of gender stereotypes, however spending a lot of time at home and in housework has been considered a predominantly female task. We may have to set up more organizations that can replicate the work of Sahabat Ayah in the Philippines at all social levels.
Irwan reminds fathers that the most critical period in character building is between infancy and 15 years. Many of them miss the opportunity because they think that being with their young children is a waste of time. In a regular radio talk show on fathering, Irwan encourages Indonesian fathers to be more pro-active in the affairs in the household: "Fathering knows no break. If you only begin when your children are older than 15, it's too late. Pre-teen is a rough period that children must struggle through, which is why fathers must build a solid foundation with their children." They must have sufficient theoretical as well as practical knowledge about their role as regards the whole-person development of their sons and daughters, which must involve different psychological and spiritual approaches. The father must be specially sensitive to the need of his pre-teen sons to be given advice on adolescent sexuality. He must also know how to support his wife in guiding their daughters on the same subject. This parental responsibility was especially highlighted in a TV advertisement of a consumer product, in which a teenage daughter during a family meal referred to the predicament of a girl classmate who was impregnated by her boyfriend.
Irwan, in addition to the radio talk show, drives his motorcycle (the most ubiquitous object in Jakarta) every day to meet fathers in parking lots and other public places. In one of the sessions with fathers, he met a mining company executive who was having a hard time connecting with his 12-year-old daughter. He asked the father if he ever called his daughter during the day just to tell her he missed her. "He said he never did. So I asked him to call her that afternoon. It's not easy. When the daughter picked up the phone, her answer was hostile like 'Why did you call?' " It seems it took several days for the father to begin a healthy conversation. It took some time before the father could begin a healthy conversation with the daughter. “The words” I called you because I miss you and want to know how you have been doing today’ seemed to be so hard to say," remarked the anxious father. Fortunately, he had made the first step. He had broken the ice. I hope fathers who are reading this column will examine their own practices and make the necessary changes to improve their relations with their children. As the name of the Indonesian foundation suggests, fathers should be the best friends of their children. For comments, my e-mail address is bernardo.villegas@uap.asia.

SOCIETY / CULTURE - PHILLIPINES

Mothers for Others Charity Event

 

MANILA, Philippines — Generosity is a value mothers are known for. Guided by this, the Bantay Bata Advisory Board paid tribute to the loving mothers by staging an event called Mothers for Others.
The event, held last Sunday at Dusit Thani Hotel, was a special Mother's Day presentation for the benefit of Bantay Bata's pediatric heart patients in need of heart surgeries. In 2011, through the efforts of the generous moms, the foundation was able to raise over Php 2 million to provide medical assistance to the growing list of children in need of immediate operations.
Rallying behind this event for a cause is Dusit Thani’s General Manager Prateek Kumar. “We opened our doors and our hearts to Bantay Bata Mothers for Others because Dusit International's founder, Thanpuying Chanut Piyaoui is an 80-plus year old woman who is first and foremost, a mother. Thanpuying ,realizing her dream of building the most valuable Thai hospitality company has been a mother to tens of thousands of others by changing their lives forever…we do all we can to help charities focused on children, such as Operation Smile, helping under privileged and abused children and now Bantay Bata.” Kumar shares on the efforts of Dusit International’s Mother and Honorary Chairperson.
The event, which was hosted by Tessa Prieto-Valdez, highlighted the runway for a cause with its Children's Couture Fashion Show. The event featured kids of celebrity and social personalities strutting the catwalk donned with original pieces from the country’s top designers like Inno Sotto, Pepito Albert, Cesar Gaupo, Dennis Lustico, Patrice Diaz, Ivarluski Aseron, Rhett Eala, Jojie Lloren, Joey Samson, Randy Ortiz, Jun Escario, Rajo Laurel and Cary Santiago.
The Bantay Bata Advisory Board prepared a special family area in Dusit where children enjoyed a variety of kid friendly activities provided by Party Perks. The team also stationed a studio corner where esteemed fashion photographer Raymond Isaac photographed the attendees and their families.
After the show, guests were treated to Dusit Thani’s famed Crossover buffet, highlighting the best cuisine from its award winning Japanese restaurant, Umu, authentic Thai restaurant Benjarong, Italian restaurant
Tosca, and the classic Basix.